FUCK I can be dense sometimes. When am I going to realize that it is okay to need people, okay to lean on people, especially when they say “I’m always here” and make every concession to be here? It doesn’t seem to matter what the situation is I always convince myself that I’m being a burden, a pain in the ass, an inconvenience . . . needy. I’ve discovered an ugly truth: what I’m really doing is not having enough faith in the people that love me. And why?

Have I ever been annoyed when someone needed me? Have I ever called someone needy because they needed a friend, a hug? Of course not so how can I think that I would be treated any differently? This is really something that I need to work on because you have never ever given me any reason to think that I was too much to handle, or that you didn’t want to deal with me. Quite the opposite, in fact.

So instead of apologizing for not giving you the benefit of the doubt, I am going to change. I am going to learn that I am worthy of love and support and I am going to accept it without question.


~ by fragmentarie on 29 September 2009.

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